The Uncommon Dates Exercise
Save the date.
FORMAT
Google Doc
TIME TO IMPLEMENT
1-2 hours
BEST FOR
Anyone wanting to strengthen the most important relationships in their lives
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”
When was the last time you put as much effort into your relationship as you do your business?
The hard truth is—if you are winning in your professional life and not your personal life or in the mirror—you are not winning at all. And neither is the world around you.
For Founder CEOs, it is especially important to remember this because a solid foundation outside of work is an essential part of the journey to the 0.01%, and it needs just as much attention as your company does, if not more. Because a successful business only takes you part way down the path—your relationships are the reason you actually enjoy it.
What it does
The Uncommon Dates Exercise (get yours free here!) draws from the work of John Gottman and Robert Levenson at the Love Lab. There they collaborated and compiled enough data from participating couples to determine—with 94 percent accuracy—who would stay married and who would eventually divorce.
Among other things, their research indicated that the words couples chose to describe their relationships, their partners, and their lives were a significant indicator of the health of the relationship.
The Uncommon Dates Exercise helps you build unstoppable relationships one date at a time, by remembering the wonderful reasons that brought you two together in the first place—and putting it back on top of the list where it belongs.
How to put the Uncommon Dates Exercise to work
Before you plan your next date night, set aside some time to do a little prep work.
In four simple steps, you can get your head in the right place to make meaningful change in your relationship, strengthen your foundation, celebrate what you’ve been through, and look honestly and authentically at what you mean to each other, so that you can enjoy the good years to come.
Go down memory lane. Remember what it was that first attracted you to your partner and document it by answering a series of questions.
Find your words. Think about the words you use when thinking about your loved one, and assess how those words might make you both feel.
Ask yourself the hard questions. Reflect on some of the more difficult times in your relationship and how you got through them.
Promise to make progress. Think about what’s really holding you back and work through how to overcome it. Set a date and treat it as you would your most important meeting—because it is.
Make it a date. We’ve provided a little pre and post homework for you to do before you go out as well as conversation starters to help you through. Remember that strong relationships happen when you renew, repair, and recommit to the promises you initially made to each other.
Why Cohort Members love it
“It reminded me that there is so much more to my life than what I do for a living.”
And that strong healthy relationships take work. As with anything in life, if you take it for granted, it is doomed to fail—this serves as a good reminder that your marriage or relationship is too important to let that happen.“This exercise made me remember all the reasons I’m married.”
Founder CEOs are a highly motivated and driven group—the Uncommon Dates tool helps you see your relationship in a different light—and helps you set goals to achieve your wildest dreams on a personal level.“We now both realize exactly why we’re so good together.”
There’s a reason you got together with your partner—take the time to remember why and celebrate it—warts and all.
